I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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