True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
