Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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