So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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