Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
