After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
