I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize