i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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