I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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