problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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