I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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