Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
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