I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
