is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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