week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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