haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
