Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
