yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
