if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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