Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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