Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
