i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
