i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
