im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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