the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
