just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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