I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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