He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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