I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
