when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we made out on top of his cat.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
