Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
