Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
