If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize