the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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