i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
