after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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