If you die in college, do you die in real life?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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