we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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