I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
as a side note pls kill me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
