Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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