You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
