My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
