exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You may now shotgun with the bride
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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