I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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