Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I will pee on everything he values.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
