Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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