It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
