Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
