I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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