one two three fourrrrnication!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
