are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
