Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You smell like stripper and shame
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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