that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
