Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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