Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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