I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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