I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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