I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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