i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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