Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
